Moving Forward
by AllieSMG
Summary: It's been four years since rescue. Jack's a druggie, Kate's alone, Claire's without a son, and Sawyer just wants someone who loves him. What will bring these four together, and will they ever go back, or will they try to move on with their lives?
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Moving Forward  
Rating: T**  
**Summary: It's been 4 long years since they were rescued, and Jack is a mess. In the midst of his struggle, Kate comes back into his life, and when Jack tries to get back into Claire's, he finds that she has a life of her own now. Jate Conmama FF**

_**A/n: Ok, I was reluctant to start a new fic, but I've been dying to do another Flash Forward fic, and I also wanted to write some Jate and Conmama, so I decided to do it all in one fic. See how smart I am:D Then again…If I don't get a lot of feedback, I probably won't continue, seeing as I have fanvids, 3 other WIP's, and lots of college schoolwork to do. Either way, I hope that you enjoy! Oh yeah, I changed the Jack FF on purpose, I'm not ignorant of the show's happenings. ;)** _

**Chapter 1**

Sawyer crawled into bed and pulled Claire close, kissing her hair, waking her as he did so. "I love you…"

Claire smiled, turning around. "I thought you were working all night?" She asked, somewhat groggily.

"They let me off early." He mumbled, brushing her lips with his.

She returned the gentle kiss and snuggled into his chest. "Missed you." She whispered, as he kissed her cheek and moved to her lips. "Uh…Sawyer…"

"Mwhat?" He replied quietly, his lips still on hers.

"…Jack called today."

He pulled away sharply. "What?" She didn't answer, so he sat up, running a hand through his shaggy, blonde hair. "What's it been, three years since ya heard from him?"

"Two and a half…just before we dated." She said softly, reluctant to talk about her brother to Sawyer.

"Yeah, and last ya saw him, he was drunk, poppin' pills, and beggin' fer somewhere ta stay…Only ta up and leave without a word three days later, worryin' you outta yer frikkin mind." He snarled.

"He-he doesn't mean it-"

"He doesn't _mean_ it." Sawyer mocked, sarcasm thick in his tone. "Lemme remind you, that ya _still_ haven't stopped worryin'. Just _where_ has he been all this time?" He snapped.

"James…" Claire sat up with him, brushing his arm with her fingertips. "He wants to visit me. He said he was sorry, and he wanted to see me again."

"Whatever."

"…And I haven't told him about us."

"You _what_?"

"Or about Aaron." She added softly, a slight choke in her voice.

This time Sawyer didn't answer, he only turned his face away. "When's he comin then?"

"I don't know."

There was a long silence, and Sawyer refused to look back at her. "That's that then." He sighed and lay back down, pulling the covers over his shoulder, his face still away from Claire.

"Sawyer." She said, pain in her voice. "I know you're angry at him, but-"

"I ain't angry. I just…don't get yer hopes up, alright?"

She laughed, wrapping an arm around him lovingly. "You sound like him, you know."

"Do not." He said stubbornly.

"If the tables were turned, he'd be warning me about _you_. In fact…he'd be warning me about you in any situation." She teased, then sobered. "I love him, Sawyer. He's my brother. I'm not just gonna give up hope. I already lost Aaron. My mum's gone, Jack's-my father…I don't want to lose the family I have left."

"Ya got _me_." He grumbled, sounding almost hurt.

"I know."

"He's a junkie, Claire."

"So was Charlie."

He cursed under his breath. "…Ya shouldn't hafta lose so many people, Claire. 'Specially not your so-"

"Can we not talk about this right now?" She asked quickly. "We'll deal with it when we have to. Let's just get some sleep, alright?" She continued, clearly uncomfortable.

Sawyer exhaled loudly, closing his eyes. "Fine."

---------

Jack sat in his rundown apartment, bottle in hand as he took a long swig. He set it down and leaned against the wall. Maps covered the floor of the room. He picked up his cell phone and dialed that familiar number, that he'd been dialing for months now.

4 rings.

"Hello?"

"Hello? It's me."

"Jack, you need to stop this, I-"

"Whoa whoa, wait, don't-don't hang up, please. I know what you said -I just. I just need to see ya, please?"

There was a long pause. "…Where do you want to meet? The usual?"

"Yeah, yeah out at the airport. You know where."

"I'll see you in an hour." She said quietly.

"Thank you."

--------

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Saw you on the news…" She said quietly. "Still pulling people out of burning wreckage, huh?"

"Old habits."

"You look terrible."

She let a soft smile curve her lips as she spoke, and at the moment, Jack couldn't take it anymore. He was overcome with the longing and need he had felt for her for so long…except now she was right there in front of him, and nothing was stopping him. He stepped forward and grabbed her wrist, pulling her into him.

"Jack."

"Don't." He breathed. "Just don't."

They stood there for a short moment, neither moving as they looked into the other's eyes. Finally, Kate let out a breath and leaned forward, caressing his lips gently, her hand on the back of his head. "Jack…"

"Shh." He said, and kissed her again, his arms wrapping around her in a tight grip as he continued to kiss her. All of a sudden, Kate yanked her head back with a gasp, looking into his eyes, and then down at the ground. "What?" He asked, confused by her behavior.

"I-I can't. Jack…We-I can't." She repeated, tears shimmering in her eyes.

"Why not?"

"He-he's waiting for me."

"He. _He_. That's what you always tell me. Now tell me something else, Kate. Who_ is_ 'he'?" He nearly shouted, exasperated. "Is it Sawyer?"

"Jack, please-" She shook her head slowly.

"Tell me, Kate. I have a right to know." He snapped. "Is it him? Is it Sayid, is it Locke. I really don't care." He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "I just want the truth, Kate."

"Jack, stop it. I…I have to go." She choked, stalking towards her car.

"I have a flight tomorrow." He called, when she opened the door.

She closed her eyes and sighed, pain grasping at her heart and squeezing. "Why do you do this to yoursel-"

"We have to go back." He interrupted.

"You're _never_ going back, Jack." Kate shouted, her voice catching in her throat.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this!"

"How do you know how it was _supposed_ to be, Jack?" She almost whispered, her voice barely loud enough for him to hear. "It happened. We got rescued 4 years ago. You need to _move_ forward-"

"I can't!"

"Goodbye, Jack." She said firmly, climbing into her car and turning the key.

**_A/n: So, what do you think? Are the two stories interesting? They'll be separate for a while, but they will merge occasionally. And yeah, yeah, I know that I always rewrite that flash forward scene, but I just love writing it. Ahh, the angst! Please review if you want me to continue! I'd love to know what you think. :D_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/n: I'm finally back! So sorry about that. Btw, this is an all-Jate chapter. Sorry Skater or Conmama shippers, but it just worked. Also, know that I wrote this at 2am til' now…it is now 3:11am. :D** _

** Chapter 2**

"Kate, please!"

Her head shot up at Jack's voice. Her fingers of one hand wrapped around the steering wheel, the other, around the key, as she prepared to drive away, forgetting her problems until his next call…just like she always did. She wished he would stop doing this to himself, even though she knew that he never would. Just like she knew that in a way, she was responsible for that…but just like he couldn't let go of the island, and his hope of returning and righting wrongs, she couldn't let go of him.

_Jack, don't._

Kate sat still, unable to move as she locked eyes with the deep brown orbs of the man moving closer to her parked vehicle. Hurt and longing filled his expression. As he continued to move towards her, she unintentionally tightened her hands on the wheel, yet she was unable to take that final step, and turn the key, leaving the man alone in the parking lot.

"What do you _want_, Jack?" She asked in an even tone, her eyes misting with liquid that she refused to let become tears. She couldn't do this again. 'Jack and Kate' had become no more, years ago and she just couldn't go through that heartache again. Her past was behind her. _Their_ past was behind her.

"_Please_." The broken man repeated, his tone imploring, as he rested a hand on the cold, smooth hood of the car. "…Come with me."

His words seemed to surprise her. She didn't know what she had been expecting him to say, but it hadn't been that. _Come with me._ If only he knew how much she wished she could. But he was wrong. They couldn't go back, there was nothing waiting for them there. For three years now, Jack had this fantasy that if they went back to the island, life would magically fall back into place. Things would be better…People wouldn't have died. Kate didn't live in that fantasy.

Without a word, she closed her eyes and turned the key. When she opened them again, she saw a look of hurt in Jack's expression. He didn't look particularly surprised by her decision, but he couldn't say that he wasn't disappointed. For that matter, he couldn't say that he didn't feel hopeless. And he couldn't tell her that not only did he pray that the plane would go down and bring him back to the island, he prayed that the plane would go down, period, ending this miserable, pathetic existence his life had warped into.

Jack's face twisted into a look that was a cross between pain, sorrow and anger. He hit the hood of the car lightly, his blow obviously very controlled, as he slowly lifted his hand and walked away, tears shimmering in his brown eyes. Kate sat motionless, hands still on the wheel as she let out a soft sigh. She began to pull the car from where she had parked, and slowly moved backwards, letting herself relax…until she saw Jack reach into his pocket and pull out a small, orange bottle. Her heart sank. As much as she wanted to leave, she couldn't do it knowing that he was going to drown himself in alcohol or pop pills in his misery.

She closed her eyes and slowly shifted into drive, catching up with the former doctor in seconds. She rolled down the passenger side window and leaned over. "Get in."

"Kate-"

"Jack." She said firmly, searching his eyes. "I'm _not_ going to watch you kill yourself anymore…_Please_ get in." She watched the man pause, as if thinking it over. Seconds passed, until he slowly, almost painfully, placed the pill bottle back into pocket, nodding all the while, and got into the car.

---------

Kate turned the key to her condo, opening the door and walking in. Jack followed behind, looking in awe of his surroundings. It was somewhat large, yet modest at the same time.

"You-you brought me to your apartment?" He laughed to himself as he looked around.

Jut then, a little brown terrier raced into the room, bouncing off of Kate's leg in excitement, before he began yapping at Jack. Kate chuckled, and leaned down to pick up the wriggling little dog.

"Don't mind him. Sometimes I think he's on a permanent sugar high." She said, as she opened the door to what looked like a laundry room, gently dropping the animal inside and shutting the door.

"He." Jack repeated in disbelief. "That's '_he_'?"

Kate looked embarrassed. "I had to tell you _something_, Jack." She said quietly, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Why?"

"Because until you let go of the island and what happened, you're never going to be able to focus on anything else." She said firmly, the emotion clear in her eyes. "Not me, not your health, not anything."

"Wh-why'd you bring me here, Kate?" He asked, looking uncomfortable and even annoyed by her words.

"Because I can't sit back and watch you kill yourself anymore."

"So, what? You're going to take me in? Nurse me back to health, get me clean? We can live together like nothing happened?" He asked sarcastically.

Kate looked hurt. "You can stay the night. After that, you're on your own." She replied coldly.

"…Kate."

"What is it, Jack?" She asked calmly.

"I missed you."

She nodded slowly. "Missed you too." She said, giving him a half smile before leaving the room.

_**A/n: How was that? I haven't written much of anything, but a chapter or two for my Sana fic since forever, so hopefully it came out alright. Just so you know, this fic isn't based off of any spoilers or possible season 4 stuff I've heard, it's just what was made obvious from season 3, and my own imagination. :) I hope you like it anyway. If you want more, please review and let me know! **_


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/n: Thanks to the few of you who reviewed. :) I feel so un-popular. lol I was AWOL on this site for a while and now no one reviews. Oh well, I suppose it's my own fault. Hopefully I'll get back into the swing of things and update my fics more often. Extra long chapter this time (as opposed to the others). Conmama is back, with lots of Jate too. Enjoy!_  
**

**Chapter 3**

Kate walked into the living room, a pillow under one arm and a blanket under the other. Jack stood up from the couch, where he had been sitting, as if to help, but she walked past him and set them down on the sofa.

"You can sleep out here." She said quietly, still not looking him in the eye, her face turned down.

Jack seemed slightly confused. He moved closer, putting a gentle hand on her arm and turning her slowly. His fingers grazed her jaw and she finally met his brown eyes, looking apprehensive.

"I missed you." Jack repeated, and with that said, crushed his mouth to hers with a passion and at the same time, a gentleness that Kate had never known except with him. He kissed her slowly, his rough beard brushing against her cheek and neck, as his thumb traced her jawbone.

Suddenly, Kate pulled back with a short gasp, as she took to looking at the ground again, rather than his face once. "Jack-" He waited for her to continue. She glanced up nervously. "I didn't bring you here to…"

"What, Kate?"

"I didn't bring you here to sleep with me." She paused. "…Not this time."

Jack smiled a hurt smile, letting out a soft sigh, shaking his head. "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"No. It's ok." She nodded, looking uncomfortable. "…You know we can't keep doing this, Jack."

There was a long pause.

"I should go." Jack said finally.

"No, Jack, you're not going anywhere." Kate replied firmly, remembering the pill bottle still in his coat pocket. "Just go to bed." She continued, before getting the little dog out of the laundry room and going into her bedroom, shutting the door.

---------

When Sawyer got up the next morning, Claire wasn't lying next to him. He glanced around the room, and saw their bathroom door shut, the light on. He lay back and stretched lazily, before getting up and trudging to the kitchen. He pressed the 'on' button on their coffee maker, and sat down at the kitchen table to wait, looking at the newspaper that sat there. When Claire came into the room a few minutes later, she looked vaguely upset, but was obviously trying to hide it.

"Mornin." Sawyer mumbled, still half asleep.

"Hey."

He glanced up at her tone. "Somethin wrong?"

"Oh…It-it's nothing. I just didn't sleep well." She said, forcing a smile and getting two coffee cups out.

"Ya sure?"

"Uh, yeah." She said nonchalantly, glancing back at him with a reassuring smile. "I'm fine."

He just nodded, looking back at the newspaper. A minute or two went by, and Claire was pouring their coffee, when Sawyer looked up again. "Hey, you wanna get some drinks?"

"What?" She almost laughed, forgetting her previous troubles.

"I mean, tonight. Ya wanna go out with me?"

"What, am I 'one of the guys' now?" She giggled.

"I don't mean 'drinks' drinks." He rolled his eyes. "Let's just…go out. Go to a restaurant. Have some cheap champagne…fool around…" He teased.

Claire raised an eyebrow skeptically. "You want to take me out on a date?"

"Yeah."

She laughed again. "Why?"

Sawyer feigned insult. "Aw, come on, Baby. Have we really got that boring?"

"No, I just…can't."

"Ya _can't_?" Now it was Sawyer's turn to be skeptical. "What? Ya got another date or somethin?"

"No, not like that, I just…" She looked down, and let her sentence trail off, as she poured some sugar into her own cup and left Sawyer's black. Claire turned and walked over to him with a playful smirk, sitting on his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck. "Maybe I want to stay in."

"Well, hell woman. All ya had ta do was say so." He chuckled, resting his own arms around her waist loosely. "And here I was, thinkin I was the only one who had bright ideas at…" He paused to check the clock on the oven behind her. "…6:42am."

She rolled her eyes and pulled back. She climbed off of his lap, and retrieved the coffee cups, bring them back to the table and setting Sawyer's in front of him, before sipping her own.

"I'm sorry for springing that Jack thing on you last night." She said softly after a moment of silence. "I know I should have talked to you about it, and-"

"S'alright." He interrupted, a vague grumble in his tone. "He's yer brother. Least you got family left."

Claire felt a twinge of pity for him, but refused to let it show. She'd learned better than that early on in their relationship. "Thanks." She said simply, taking another sip of coffee. "…There's more."

"Yeah?" He froze.

"When Jack called, he might have mentioned, um…stayingafewdays." She mumbled.

Sawyer set his coffee cup down. Hard. "He _what_?"

Claire began to speak quickly, looking more nervous as the words tumbled out. "Well, he doesn't even know you're here, and he said he might need a place to stay when he comes down, and I just-"

"Offered?" Claire didn't reply, and Sawyer nodded with a sigh. "Fine. Ya make all the plans 'round here anyway." He grouched good-naturedly.

She sighed in relief. "…Thanks for not having a heart attack. I know you don't exactly love Jack."

Sawyer cast her an amused look. "Just don't be springin nothin else on me." He replied lightly. "Not sure my heart could take it." He joked sarcastically, offering her a smile.

An uneasy look crossed Claire's expression for a split second, but she forced out a laugh. "That's not what I meant." She said firmly, pretending to be annoyed.

"Sure, Cupcake. Whatever you say." He smirked.

---------

Kate woke up that morning, lying flat on her stomach, covers sprawled messily over her half dressed body, to the sensation of a soft, warm tongue tracing her jaw and then moving to her nose. At first she flinched and moved, but the tongue seemed to follow her, little hairs tickling her face. She opened her eyes to find the dog lying inches from her, happily licking her nose again, as he stood and his tiny body shook with excitement at the realization that she was awake.

"Stop it…" She moaned, pushing him away gently, but he moved back to her quickly, letting out an impatient yap. "Go away." She muttered, placing her pillow over her head, only to feel the weight on it increase, knowing that he had jumped on top of it and was now lying on her head. Kate seemed content to deal with this, rather than the incessant licking…until he crawled off of the pillow and burrowed himself under it, to lick her nose again. "Jamie, stop it!" She snapped, but the dog paid her no mind.

She moaned again and reluctantly sat up, as Jamie leapt onto her lap and curled up in a little ball. She looked at her alarm clock. "7:42am. I didn't have to work today, ya know." She addressed the animal. "You could have let me sleep in." She added. The dog didn't move. She rolled her eyes and set him down on the bed, standing up and stretching as she dug through her drawers, and began to get dressed. Just then, she heard the clattering of silver ware coming from the kitchen, and stopped.

Jack.

Kate cursed under her breath.

--------

Kate made her way out of her bedroom to find Jack's pillow and blanket neatly folded on the couch. The air smelled of bacon and eggs, and the 'pop' of the toaster let her know that an entire breakfast had been made. In a way, she was touched, but at the same time she wished he hadn't gone through the trouble. This was far too familiar, much too comfortable. She and Jack weren't in a relationship, and they hadn't been for three years…At least not _this_ kind of relationship.

"Hi." She said quietly.

Kate struggling to keep from smiling at the sight of a bearded, almost homeless looking Jack, flipping bacon with one hand and getting a glass out of the cupboard with another. He always had been the type who preferred to keep busy, rather than laze around. Though the last few years had changed him, he always seemed the tiniest bit like the old Jack when he stayed with her. She let out a soft sigh, trying to ignore the stab of pain at the thought.

He glanced back, forcing a smile. "Good morning, Kate." He turned off the fire on the burner and set down the spatula he was holding. "I just thought you'd want to wake up to breakfast for once."

"Actually, I woke up to Jamie's tongue all over my face." She said, then froze when she realized what she said. "The-the dog…woke me up."

Jack nodded. "Jamie…not after anyone we know?" He joked.

Kate chuckled softly to herself. "His name was on the kennel when I got him. He answers to it, so…Trust me, it wasn't my first choice either…I know, who names a dog 'James' but…it kinda fits him."

"Does he always wake you up like that?"

"Only when he sleeps with me." An embarrassed look immediately flashed across Kate's expression. Who knew that talking about her dog could dredge up so many uncomfortable memories?

Jack only smirked and nodded, sounding very sarcastic as he spoke. "The name fits."

"I didn't plan on taking him home, but…I couldn't stand to see him like that…"

"Like what?"

Kate glanced down at the table. "Locked up."

Jack sat down at the table with her, bringing a plate of food and pushing it in front of her.

"Aren't you gonna eat?"

"I'm fine. I really should go, I just…wanted to make up for-for last night."

"Jack, it wasn't your-"

"No." He said firmly. "You were right. I just…I miss you."

"Jack, don't." She shook her head slowly. "It's bad enough the way it is, I can't…I can't do this anymore."

"This…"

Kate met his eyes. "I don't think we should see each other anymore."

"Oh. That…yeah."

"I never wanted to hurt you, but with the island, and the drugs…I just-I can't anymore…..When are you going to let go, Jack?" She said, her tone even, but something in it almost begging him for an answer.

"Not until I find a way to make things right."

"You can't make things right, Jack! _No_ one can." She said sharply, making him jump. "…I didn't mean it like that, I just…Charlie, Aaron…everyone." She corrected herself quickly. "…It's not your fault. It was _never_ your fault, Jack."

There was a moment of silence, before he answered. "No." He shook his head. "No, I could have-"

"Just stop it, Jack. Stop blaming yourself!" She commanded, tears misting in her eyes. She looked into his and saw pain. He clearly hadn't let go of this, nor did he plan to. She stood up and pushed the untouched plate of food away. "I have to feed the dog." She said, making her way to the laundry room wordlessly.

Jack closed his eyes and sighed. He got up, fingering the pill bottle from his jacket. He pulled it out, counting the pills, as if stalling, before finally, shoving it back down deep into the pocket.

"Goodbye, Kate." He whispered, and headed towards the door.

_**A/n: Don't worry, it's not the end of Jate. They'll be back, and will probably meet up with Sawyer and Claire in a few chapters...that'll be an interesting chapter. lol I hope you all liked it! If you want a quick update, please let me know by reviewing. I love detailed reviews, but if you don't have the time, at least leave a short one letting me know that you're at least reading it and what you thought! Ideas, fave parts, theories, questions? Anything is good and will be encouraging to me...as long as it's not a flame. ;) Thanks so much! **_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Kate flinched when she heard the front door shut, still watching Jamie eat his food as she sat on the dryer. It hadn't slammed, but she could almost sense how hurt he was by the gentle way he shut the door and wordlessly left. He hadn't bothered saying goodbye, and he hadn't tried to fight her…he simply left, doing what he thought she wanted him to do. It was just like Jack.

What _did_ she want him to do?

She had to admit it at least to herself that it was easiest to let him leave and move on with life, maybe it was even for the best. But could she really just 'end' things, this charade of one-night-stands and secret airport meetings? She rolled her eyes at the thought. At the moment, it all sounded so silly. They had broken up years ago, but they hadn't really, had they? When Jack missed her, he called…and she came. Other times, she'd call, and they'd end up at a motel or his place, wherever that _was_ at the time. The night before had been the only time she'd let him know where she lived, but it hadn't been like other times. She knew that it was becoming too much. She couldn't keep ignoring Jack's addiction and unhealthy obsessions for one night, just to ease their aching hearts. At this, she let out a short, cold laugh. It sounded like something out of a soap opera, but this was her life. She shook her head and lowered herself from the dryer, leaving Jamie alone and closing the door quietly, still deep in thought.

**---------**

Jack drove that all too familiar route with one hand on the wheel, the other in his pocket, fumbling for the small bottle of pills that almost always rested there. His fingers were vaguely shaky as they finally found what they had been searching for, and he withdrew the bottle. Jack glanced down for a moment, placing the bottle on his lap and looking back at the road to make sure it was clear. When he saw that it was, he removed his hands from the wheel quickly and popped open the lid, removing two pills and putting them in his mouth before looking up again. His hands returned to where they should be, just in time for him to swerve out of the way of an oncoming vehicle.

**---------**

Kate reluctantly made her way back into the kitchen, feeling very uncomfortable at the thought that Jack had just been in there 15 minutes before. It was still messy with dishes and the lone plate of food that he had cooked for her. She was hit with a stab of guilt at the thought that she hadn't touched it, nor did she intend to now…but she just couldn't. With that, she picked it up and quietly walked over to the trashcan, dumping the food into it and then set the empty plate into the sink. She sighed and rubbed her forehead, closing her eyes as she leaned against the counter. What had she gotten herself into with this? Bringing him here, to her _home_? What had she been thinking? She was thinking she still loved him, and as much as she wanted to let go of him, she couldn't just let him keep killing himself the way he was.

She just didn't know what to do.

Kate shook her head and left the kitchen, intent on shaking these feelings and focusing on something else. A scratching on the laundry room door caught her attention and she distractedly opened the door and let the little terrier out as she made her way back to her bedroom and crawled under her blankets. Within seconds of this, Jamie jumped on the bed and burrowed under the covers with her. Kate let out a frustrated whimper and fell back onto the pillows, hugging the dog close to her. He gave her a friendly lick on the cheek, as her green eyes misted with unshed tears. She had to end this pain.

**-------**

"Another." Jack said, nodding to the bartender, watching as his shot glass filled. The drugs had long since taken effects and he was on his third shot. God, all he wanted to do was forget, but as he continued to drink, all he could do was think about Kate.

_Kate moaned softly into his mouth as he kissed her, his hands running up and down her arms as they stumbled back into their motel room. _

_Jack didn't do this kind of thing. He had real relationships, not rendezvous' in hotel rooms. But this was different. This was Kate. She had missed him, and only God knew how much he had missed her since she left him. He'd given in. How could he not? He'd waited so long and he'd gone through so much…_

_He shut the door behind them, pulling away for a moment, but Kate pulled him back to her mouth, clearly impatient. Finally, her touch became too much, and Jack took control of the situation, kissing her lips passionately once again, pushing her back onto the bed gently, letting himself fall with her. _

Jack swallowed down the shot, his mind a numb blur. That had been the first time since their breakup that he'd seen her and it had only made him even more frantic to see Kate than he had been before. Since then, he didn't know how many times he'd called drunk or high, just aching to hear her voice. How many times they'd met at their 'spot' at the airport, longing to see her face again. The truth was, since rescue, since their world had turned upside down – Jack had become a lonely, desperate man. Sometimes he just didn't know what to do anymore.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

And now even Kate realized how wrong this all was. That scared him more than anything else did because without her, he didn't have anyone. He didn't have anyone else to talk to, anyone to spend time with when he was lonely or feeling hopeless. He only had his drugs and his drink.

Jack drank another shot.

That's when a new thought hit him. Claire. His drunken brain barely realizing what he was proposing. It was 9am and he was already under the influence of drugs and alcohol and about to drive to his half sister's house, as if she could help him now. Then again…She was only a few hours away. She was his family. She said that he could come over, that she would help. She was all he had left. He hadn't seen her for over two years. It was shortly after he broke up with Kate, after he'd gotten into drugs and drinking…but he had no where else to go. He had to try. No matter how uncomfortable it was to be around Claire and thinking about his father's affair every second he saw her; she was family. He could do this. It wasn't like he had anywhere else to go in his miserable life.

Maybe Kate was right. He should let go…and focus on what he had left.

His mind made up, he struggled to stand drunkenly, slapping down the cash for his drinks onto the counter, and stumbling out of the bar. Just one stop at home, sober up a bit, find the directions…he could do this.

**--------**

**(5pm)**

Claire lay back on their large bed, already in her black lace nightgown, her legs crossed as she waited for Sawyer to get home from work. She nervously played with the edge of the bed covers with one hands, and chewed the thumbnail of her other hand.

"I'll just say it…" She thought to herself. "We've been together for two years, it's not unheard of…"

But if she could just 'say it' why was she planning on distracting him with her attire? Claire moaned and fell back into the fluffy pillows spread across the head of their bed, tucking her legs to her chest. What was wrong with her? After all this time of knowing him, after their two years together, all that they'd been through…why couldn't she just tell him something important like this?

Or was it because she knew him _too_ well?

Claire flinched as she heard their front door open and close. She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes, sitting up and then lying back against the pillows, crossing her legs again and waiting for Sawyer to find her. She picked up a magazine and scanned it, trying to look casual, though her heart was racing a mile a minute. Like she said before, she'd just tell him. She'd kiss him 'hello', and sit him down and…tell him.

"Claire?" Sawyer's deep, southern tone rang through the house.

"I-I'm in here." She called, biting her lip.

Moments later, the bedroom door opened. "Hey, I was won-Oh…" He froze, staring at her as she put the magazine down and got up from the bed. "I didn't realize bedtime was comin so early t'night."

Claire smiled, moving closer and wrapping her arms around his neck, kissing him slowly. "Hey."

"Well, hello to you too." He grinned, catching her lips again in a gentle kiss, and bringing her closer to him.

They stood like that, barely touching for a short moment before Sawyer swept her up into his arms and carried her to the bed. Claire gasped as they fell together, but wasted no time in unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. Looking at her with a look between surprised, confused, and pleased he let go of her for a moment, to finish undoing the buttons and slip it off.

She looked into his eyes as he moved himself closer to her. "I-I have to tell you something."

"Yeah? What's that?' Sawyer mumbled, kissing her jaw, close to her ear and then her hair as he spoke.

"It-it's kinda big…"

"Yeah, so? Ya havin an affair?" He teased with a low chuckle.

Claire didn't speak.

"Wait…." He pulled back. "Ya aren't really…I mean-Claire."

She shook her head and glanced away, still lying on the bed as he hung over her. "No, Sawyer, of course not." She told him softly.

He sighed in apparent relief. "Well, are ya pregnant?" He said, clearly still joking.

"I-"

Just then, they heard a door open with a squeak and Sawyer glanced up quickly, but when no sound followed it, he went back to kissing her.

"Did you hear that?" She asked, sounding slightly concerned.

"…Yeah…Probably just the cat."

A loud crashed sounded from the living room and he looked back again, surprised. "Stay here." He said protectively, looking back again. He started to get up, but Claire's grip on his arm tightened.

"Claire?" A voice called.

Sawyer stopped. He knew that voice. It was different than before, but it was still him. "Please don't let it be him." He thought to himself with an inward groan.

He was still straddling her on the bed, but they both seemed too surprised to move for a moment. "That's Jack." Claire said after a short moment.

"Ya didn't tell me he was comin today!" He snapped in frustration, scanning the room for his shirt.

"I didn't know." She hissed, now sitting up halfway, her chin level with his ear.

Suddenly the door was flung open, and a bearded, Jack, clearly under the influence of…something, stumbled into the room. "Claire?"

Sawyer spun around to face the intruder. "Doc?"

_**A/n: Huge confrontation coming up next, and possibly some answers about Aaron and what happened to him. ;) Reviews? Please? I'm starting to get discouraged here. If you're reading, could you let me know you're out there? Thanks bunches! Ideas and theories/quotes etc are appreciated. **_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Jack reddened and mumbled something, before walking back out of the room, closing the door.

His head was spinning, and it wasn't solely due to the amounts of alcohol and illicit substances he had consumed that day. In fact, if he hadn't had time to sober up a bit while driving there, he would never have believed what he had just witnessed.

Why hadn't anyone told him Claire was seeing…that was when it struck him, and what he had really seen fully registered. Jack froze mid-step, mouth agape, finishing the sentence in his mind - Sawyer. That was Sawyer. His sister was in bed with _Sawyer _of all people! First Kate and now _Claire_? Did the man do it on purpose, or was it simply his fate to lose the women he loved to the Southerner? Jack's embarrassment quickly turned to rage as he spun on his heel and rushed back into the room. Sawyer was buttoning his shirt and Claire had slipped on some jeans.

Sawyer's head whipped around when he heard the door again, and glared as Jack reappeared. "What? Ya never heard of knockin?" He growled, leaving the remaining buttons undone.

Jack ignored the man and turned to his sister. "Sawyer. You're with Sawyer?"

"Jack, just-"

"No." He snapped. "No, _you_ listen-" He continued, slurring slightly.

"Hey!" Sawyer glanced back up from what he was doing, taking a protective step forward. "Don't talk ta her like she's a frikkin kid." He said, pulling her a little closer to him.

"Don't touch her!" Jack yelled suddenly, appearing mortified. "Just…Get out!"

"Jack, stop it." Claire snapped, and her brother gazed at her in apparent surprise.

Sawyer looked incredulous himself, but for other reasons. "You seriously tellin' me ta get out of my own house, Doc?"

"_Your_ house? Since when do you-"

Claire cut in, her voice quiet, suddenly struck with timidity. "Jack, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but we…" She didn't know why she suddenly felt so dirty now that her brother knew about them. Why should she? It was her life, and she could do with it as she pleased. It's not as if _Jack's_ life choices were better. Still, she couldn't help the feeling. He had always cared for her and Aaron on the island and deep down, she had known that he wouldn't approve of their relationship. "Sawyer and I-"

Sawyer decided to help her out and stop beating around the bush. "This ain't no _one time thing_, Jack." He paused. "If it were, I guess you could say there've been a lot of one time things around here." He continued, his voice remaining cold and firm, knowing very well the negative effect it'd have on the man.

"You son of a-" Jack started as he rushed towards Sawyer.

The other man quickly moved forward, catching Jack mid-punch, and pressing him firmly against the wall closest to them. "Whoa there, Doc." Sawyer said, easily overpowering him because of his weakened state. "Just you hold on." He continued, trying to calm him and stop his struggling. He could smell alcohol on his breath, but this wasn't just some drunken rampage. "What have you been _doin_, Doc?"

"Sawyer, let him go." Claire ordered, standing up. "James!"

"I don't think so."

Sawyer pressed Jack harder into the wall, releasing him with one hand, and using his legs to block his exit from the position he had the former doctor locked in.

Jack struggled against him, but knew it was useless trying to get away.

With his free hand, Sawyer opened Jack's jacket, digging into the inner pockets, until his fingers wrapped around what he'd been looking for. He pulled it out and scanned the label, cursing under his breath, looking at Jack again, and then letting out another curse before pushing him one last time towards the wall and taking a step back.

The ordeal had seemed to calm Jack a bit and he stayed where he was, seeking Claire's gaze. "What are you doing with him?" He sighed, finally sounding a bit more like the old Jack.

"That's none of yer business, Doc." Sawyer said before Claire could answer. "The real question is – what are you doin with a half empty bottle of pills that was prescribed yesterday?"

Jack shot him a look and shook his head with a scoff. "Sorry for interrupting." He said coldly, pushing past him, thinking only of how stupid he was to come here.

"Wait…Jack-" Claire called, taking a hesitant step forward, but Sawyer beat her to it, following him out.

-------

"Doc! Hey, Doc. Listen, just-"

"What, Sawyer?" Jack whipped around to face him. "Am I going to get a lecture from a _con man_ about my life? Or maybe you have another smart remark about how you're sleeping with my-"

"Where you goin, Jack?" Sawyer asked him gently, looking almost worried about the man.

"Why do you care, Sawyer?"

"I know ya ain't too happy about this-" He paused. "-situation…But it's been over two years now. Why would ya come back here unless ya had no where else ta go?"

"I don't need you feel sorry for me, Sawyer. I'm fine." He said firmly.

"No. You're not. And I don't feel sorry for you. Truth be told, I don't like that you're here, but Claire does, so there really ain't much ta say about it. Yer stayin."

Jack's expression dropped its anger and took on surprise. "What?"

"I don't know how ya got here, but I ain't lettin you go out there and get yerself killed." He said sharply with a scoff and a roll of his eyes. "There's an empty room down the hall you can use-" He stopped momentarily, as if wondering if he'd missed anything. "…sober up, will ya?" He finished, sounding a cross between disgusted and frustrated.

When Jack didn't answer, Sawyer simply turned and went back into the bedroom.

Sawyer's words echoed in Jack's numbed brain. _I ain't lettin you go out there and get yerself killed. _And when they did…God, it reminded him of Kate. Why did people even care anymore? What did it matter to them what he did with his life or what happened to him? Not having an answer, he glanced down the hall, where Sawyer had pointed, and sought out the lonely bedroom that he had been assigned to.

**-------**

When Sawyer opened the closed door to their bedroom, Claire nearly bumped into him; she had been on her way out as well. "What did you do?" She asked quickly.

Sawyer made a face, annoyed by her unvoiced accusation. "I didn't do anything ta him, Claire."

"Where is he?"

"He's in the guest room down the hall. I told him he's stayin at least til' he sobers up."

Claire let out a relieved sigh and placed a light hand on his chest. "You know, for a minute there I thought you were going to kill him, coming in like that." She smiled, looking up into his eyes. "Thank you, James."

"Fer what?" He mumbled. "I wasn't gonna throw him out like…_that_." He spat out the last part, like it was a dirty word.

Sawyer was confused by how disgusted he felt. It wasn't as if he hadn't been on a bender or two in his day, he couldn't say that he was any better than the man as a whole…but this was The Doc. This was _Jack_. As much as he hated to admit it, he'd always admired the man, and now look at him. As hard as he tried, he just couldn't explain it. He didn't understand why he would do something like this. He knew Claire couldn't either, and he hated exposing her to it. Especially after Aaron.

"I know…just…thanks." She replied, casting him a grateful looking, before letting her hand slip from his chest, and she took a step towards the kitchen. "He won't be staying anyway."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"…I called Kate." She said softly, waiting for his response.

Sawyer stiffened, but struggled not to show it. "What for?" He asked, his tone calm and even.

She caught his eyes, shooting him a confused look. "For Jack, what do you think?"

"Oh." Sawyer felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. It wasn't like he and Kate had been an item for years now, nor had he wished they were…but it still stung to know that she had waited so long, and finally left him and gotten with Jack when he was in this state.

Claire turned to meet his eyes. "Why? Is that not alright with you?"

He snapped out of his daydream. "It's fine." He shrugged. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"It'll only be for-"

"Listen, I said it's fine. Don't worry about me, Claire." He said, a slight edge in his tone. "Worry about how yer gonna break some big news ta Uncle Jack." He continued, feeling bad immediately after he spoke.

Claire's face fell, and she changed her direction, heading back to the bedroom, shutting the door loudly.

Sawyer flinched, shame rushing over him. He shrugged it off and shook his head.

**-------**

Sawyer sat on the couch, his eyes fixed on the flashing screen of the television set in front of him, but if someone asked, he couldn't tell them what he had been watching. Jack had been in his room for hours now, and Claire hadn't left their bedroom since they had last talked. Sawyer couldn't bring himself to join her. Besides, he had too much on his mind.

Just then, a soft knock sounded on the door. He glanced over quickly, momentarily startled, before he remembered. He stood up, taking a deep breath and shaking his shaggy hair, struggling to clear his head. He grasped the doorknob firmly, turning it and pulling back in one swift motion, to reveal a worried, and very unsure Kate.

"Hey…"

"Hey." She echoed quietly.

_**A/n: I had a hard time with this chapter. I just couldn't get it to sound right, but I think it's ok now. Feel free to throw out ideas/theories/speculation/fave parts for the story in your reviews. I'd really appreciate it and it helps me a lot. Some awkward Skate talk (tho this is by no means a Skate fic) next chapter, and maybe even more awkward talks between the rest of them. Hehe I'll just see how it goes. Let me know what you thought of it!**_


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/n: I'm getting very depressed here, I only got like 3 reviews for the last chapter! The first chap I got 11 and now I hardly get any? Is it really that bad or OOC or what? I don't think I'm being incredibly OOC if I am at all (as a rule), and I've even been running my ideas past AthenaAlexandria (thanks lots btw), who likes them as well. I know I should just be writing for fun and for myself, and I do, but it's really nice to know how you're doing and get some feedback once in a while. It just really inspires me to see a review more than one line, with some speculation about the story, showing that people actually enjoy it. So if you're out there and reading this, please give me some feedback. Please! I'd really love to know what you think and if you have any ideas or anything. It's so much better than _"good chapter, please update!!"_. To be honest, that's not very inspiring. So thanks to all of you who are reading and reviewing, and to those of you, who aren't, I hope that you like the story anyway. _**

**_Without further ado Ch.6 - Skate confrontation ahead, as well as some sweet Jateyness for ya'll. _**

**_Enjoy!_**

**Chapter 6**

Sawyer stared at her for a few seconds, a blank expression pasted on his face, before he realized that he was standing in the doorway, blocking her entrance. "Oh, uh…come on in." He replied, somewhat awkwardly, stepping aside, and watching her tentatively step inside.

"Where's Jack?"

"I-um…down the hall, second door on the right." He stumbled, and nodded to the dimly lit hallway, across the room. Finally, Sawyer stopped trying to form the 'right thing to say', which still hadn't come to him, and just spoke. "How've ya been, Kate?" He asked gently.

The look of genuine care and concern in his eyes made Kate uncomfortable, she dropped her eyes for a moment. "Fine." She looked around the sizable home, clearly avoiding eye contact, only making the awkwardness of the situation all the more apparent to him. "Second door on the right?" She questioned, as if she weren't already sure of what he had said the last time she had asked.

"Yeah…but the Doc's been out for hours now. I-"

"Is he okay?" Kate interrupted, a hint of worry lacing her tone, as she glanced down the hall.

"He's fine…just-It's gettin' late." He changed the subject abruptly.

"Yeah…I should just go-I mean, if Claire doesn't mind…" Her voice trailed off.

"Kate, ya don't-"

"Everything seems to be okay, so-" She interrupted. "Shouldn't you be getting home too?"

"I would, but…Claire and I kinda…" He left the sentence hanging, unsure of how to continue.

Kate glanced down with a nervous smile. "Oh."

"…Yeah." He said, dragging out the word whilst running an absent-minded hand through his shaggy hair.

"You know what? I think I…I'm just going to get Jack and take him home." She said, nodding and meeting his eyes, forcing a small smile.

There was a pause, before either of them spoke again.

"Listen, the Doc's out cold and it's late…took you this long ta get here, why don't you just-" He shook his head. "-stay here fer the night." He finished.

"Thanks, but I really should go, Sawyer. I-" She glanced up, meeting his gaze. "…Do you have an extra room?" Kate gave in, inwardly kicking herself.

Sawyer looked confused. "Somethin wrong with the Doc's?"

"I don't wanna wake him."

He stared at her hard, before slowly nodding. "End o' the hall on the left, just past the bathroom."

She flashed him a quick, almost shy smile. "Thanks."

"No problem." Without another word, he turned and trudged back to his spot on the sofa, picking up the remote and turning up the volume.

Kate hesitated. "…Night." She offered.

"See ya in the mornin', Freckles." He replied, his tone low and reluctant, his eyes glued to the screen.

She took a step towards the dark hallway, then looked back at Sawyer. "…Ya know, when Claire called me I didn't know what to expect."

Sawyer didn't answer.

"Thought I might hafta play nurse to you two. Kinda like old times." She teased lightly, not wanting to leave things so strained between them.

"I'm sure you play nurse to the Doc all the time."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, a little coldly, but when he remained silent, she knew exactly what he meant. "…You know about the drugs."

This got his attention. "How could I _not_ know about the drugs, Kate?" He scoffed, finally looking her in the eye again. "He just _waltzed_ in here, half-drunk with a bottle of pills in jacket pocket!"

Kate bristled inwardly at the level of anger and disgust in his voice. "And you're so much better?"

"Now? Yeah. I am, Kate." He snapped. "Are _you_?"

They stared each other down for a long moment. "I'm goin to bed." Kate said coolly, before turning on her heel and walking into the dim hallway, purposely going into the second door on the right, knowing Sawyer was watching her every move. She refused to look back at him, and simply opened the door quietly, letting herself into the dark room, before closing the door again.

**--------**

Kate peered into the bedroom, eager to forget her talk with Sawyer for the moment, and focus on something else. Kate sighed when she saw him lying on the bed, safe and sound. There didn't appear to be a mark on him, a detail that surprised her. When Claire had called, she seemed worried that the men would do something to each other, but it appeared that neither had been harmed during their little skirmish. Until minutes before, she had no idea what it was all about, but after hearing Sawyer nervously admit his and Claire's relationship, what had taken place didn't take much explaining.

She smiled briefly at the thought, thinking how even now, in his condition, he was still the same old Jack. He was ever trying to take care of those he cared for, protect them. It was a thought that both warmed her heart and brought a slight physical ache to it at the same time. He hadn't been the same since the island, since they had gotten home, and knowing that he could still be the Jack she knew and loved, but refused to be most times, killed her.

Kate took a few steps forward, gingerly sitting on the bed next to his sleeping form. A sad smile played at the corners of her mouth, noting how peaceful he looked for once. It seemed that he was forever under some kind of stress, always worrying about the island, those they left behind…and though he wouldn't admit it to her, where he'd get his next fix or drink.

She was torn between how much she loved him and hated him - hated who he had become these past years. Deep down, she knew that this change disgusted her as much as it did Sawyer, but somehow it was different. She wanted to help Jack, needed to help him, no matter how much it hurt them both in the process. She just didn't know how sometimes. There was nothing more frustrating for her than that fact.

On a sudden impulse, Kate let a gentle hand reach out and brush his hair back, smoothing his unruly hair against his head, her touch feather light. She let herself get lost in watching him, memorizing his features all over again as she traced cheekbone with her fingers, meeting his scratchy beard partway down. Suddenly she pulled back with a start, when he shifted in his sleep.

Kate could feel her heart beating in her chest; somehow worried about being caught here, watching him like this. She couldn't be, not after she had told him things were over between them. As much as she wanted to help him, clearly this, whatever _this_ was, wasn't helping him…was it? They had been in an on and off, one-night-stand filled relationship for almost 2 years now, and yet he hadn't changed. All it achieved was hurting them both, refusing to let either of them move on with their lives.

Just as she got the courage to rest her hand on his neck once again, Jack's eyes fluttered open, quickly connecting with hers. Startled, she wanted to pull back, but kept her hand where it was, forcing a smile.

"Kate...hey." He whispered groggily, clearly unfazed by her presence.

"Hi." She answered, stroking his cheek tenderly, flashing him a real smile. "Go back to sleep, okay?"

Without another word, he rubbed his cheek against the pillow he was lying on, and closed his eyes with a sigh. "Goodnight."

"Night." She repeated.

"…love you." He mumbled, his words almost incoherent, yet very clear to Kate.

She quickly removed her hand, surprised by his half-conscious mutterings.

After that moment, she knew…They needed to talk.

_**A/n: So there you have it. Love it, hate it? Any speculation? Theories? Hopes? Let me know and I'll try and update soon. :D Thanks!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/n: I'm not extremely happy with this chapter, but some of you asked for more Claire, so here you are A/n: I'm not extremely happy with this chapter, but some of you asked for more Claire, so here you are. Lots of Claire and even some Kate. There will be lots more Sawyer and Jack in the next chapter, and things will be a little more light hearted for a bit, before they get darker again. Enjoy!**_

** Chapter 7**

Claire rolled over in bed, pulling the covers close around her, forcing her eyes closed again as she nestled into her pillow. She lay perfectly still for what seemed like ages, before yanking the blankets closer around her, burrowing deeper within them. It wasn't that she was particularly cold that night, but more the emptiness of the bed that bothered her. She should have been used to sleeping alone, seeing as Sawyer's boss made it a habit of having him work nights -- but after a fight, it was different.

_What am I thinking? It wasn't even a fight._

She tried to reason it out in her mind, but logic wasn't helping. Claire didn't care about logic. She just wanted everything to be okay again. She'd been with Sawyer for two years now, yet she felt so incredibly alone sometimes. It was an emptiness she had never known, until she had given birth to her only son, Aaron. Whenever she had been away from him as a baby, she felt a nagging feeling that something wasn't right. Now that he was gone forever, she felt a hollow void that she thought could never go away.

_Sawyer was being an ass, but he didn't mean it._

She knew that he had already been annoyed about Jack, but reminding her of that pain after trying so long to heal the hurt was downright cruel. The sad thing was - he knew it, and he did it for that reason exactly, and she didn't know why. It had been like that lately. As happy as they could be together, if she said something that struck a nerve, he'd either shut down or say something to hurt her. Was this what he was really like? At first he had been so sweet and gentle with her feelings, and always treaded lightly when it came to her lost son. She couldn't understand why he would choose now to bring up something so painful in such a harsh way. Claire was aware she had been a little moody lately. She also knew that he admired Jack, as much as he hated to admit it, and seeing him like this disgusted and frustrated him, but couldn't he understand that this was her _brother_? That she felt just as overwhelmed and confused as he did?

The truth was, Sawyer lacked tact. She'd always known that, since long before they had gotten together, but he never truly meant to hurt her. Once you cracked through that tough, outer shell, he was a big softie…_if_ you ever cracked through that tough, outer shell. Sometimes, Claire wondered if she truly had. She loved him, but if this is what he was like, could she really bring a new baby into the world and expect him to be a father?

Despite the pain and anger and confusion bubbling inside of her, despite their problems, somehow she still wished he were there with her. She wanted someone to tell her everything would be all right. She wanted someone to hold her. She needed someone to do that. With everything that had happened to her since rescue – losing Aaron, finding out about Jack's _habits_ and then seeing him into them full swing. It was just too much sometimes. Even though he had hurt her, at that moment, he was the only one who could ease her worry and make her feel safe again.

Finally, she threw the covers off of her and got out of bed. Quickly and determinedly, she strode across the bedroom, placing a firm hand on the doorknob. She hesitated, but with a sudden burst of courage, opened the door quietly. Fully intending to tell Sawyer what she was feeling, she padded down the hall, through the kitchen, and finally into the living room. She could hear his gentle breathing, before she could see him. Once he did come into view, her heart sank. He was sleeping peacefully on the couch, the flashing television screen casting shadowy lights on his face. Her nerve failing her, Claire slowly turned and walked back to their bedroom, crawling into bed and eventually drifting to sleep.

**--**

Claire found herself awake at 6am the next morning, unable to sleep after waking up to a noise in the kitchen. At first, she closed her eyes and tried to rest, but once she realized that it was no use, she decided to get an early start.

**--**

Minutes after dressing, Claire made her way out to the kitchen, tiptoeing quietly so as not to wake Sawyer. The previous night's courage hadn't returned, and she really wasn't eager to open up a discussion at 6 o'clock in the morning, especially not with Kate and Jack in the house.

"Morning."

Kate's voice snapped Claire out of her thoughts, as she glanced up quickly to see her sitting at the table. "Oh…hi, Kate." She greeted, forcing a small smile. "Wh-what are you doing up so early?"

Kate smiled back. "Couldn't sleep." She shrugged.

"Me either. Sawyer -- he never came in last night and I…" Claire stopped, a light blush heating her cheeks.

"It's okay. He told me."

"Oh, oh…good." She said, still looking uncomfortable with the topic.

"It's okay, Claire." Kate replied, reaching across the table and resting her hand on Claire's, then slowly pulling back. She searched the woman's eyes briefly, before speaking again. "How are you?"

"Fine. Fine." She said, nodding with an appreciative look. "It -- sometimes it's hard, but…I'm _okay_. I just, I think I need to get out, ya know? On my own…clear my head?"

"Why don't you? Right now."

Claire shook her head. "Kate, it's 6 in the morning. Besides, I couldn't leave you alone with-"

"I'll be fine. Go on."

"I-I think I'm just going to take a walk in the park." She agreed hesitantly.

Kate nodded. "I should probably wake Jack and get us out of your way soon."

"No, wait. You don't have to do that. Let him rest, he-he looks awful."

Kate chuckled softly, glancing down. "Yeah."

"How is he…really?"

The brunette pursed her lips and met her friend's eyes. "Not so good sometimes. He's having a hard time."

"He can stay here. I-I mean, if he isn't with…if he needs a place to stay, he can-"

Kate looks unsure of what to say. "…But Sawyer-"

"He'll be fine, Kate. If Jack – I just want him to be safe."

"Claire, I can take him home, I mean…I don't want to just leave him here for you to-"

"The house is big enough, Kate. If you two need to stay for a few days, it's fine."

"Claire."

"I mean it. Sawyer may act like he's doesn't, but he cares about him too."

Kate smiled and nodded. "I'll talk to Jack about it."

Claire grinned, a short rush of relief filling her momentarily. She stood up from the table, and slipped on some shoes that had been resting underneath it. "I might run a few errands while I'm out, if it's alright. You can take a shower while I'm gone. Use the one down the hall, in my bedroom. The one in the front hall across from your and Jack's room, is broken and Sawyer still insists he can fix it on his own." She complained with a slight roll of her eyes.

Kate cringed inwardly at Claire's reference to the bedroom as her and Jack's, but shrugged it off quickly. "Thanks, Claire. I'll do my best to hold down the fort." She teased.

"Good luck." She said, rolling her eyes again. "You might want to take a shower before Sawyer gets up, he takes _all day_." She started to walk back to the bedroom to get her purse, when she stopped. "Thanks."

"It's no problem." She said, hoping the doubt in her tone at the thought of being stuck in the house alone with Sawyer and Jack didn't show. "I promise."

_**A/n: So there you have it. I certainly hope you all enjoyed it, and I promise there will be lots of answers coming up within the next few chapters. :) Sorry for the lack of Jate and Conmama interaction, but I needed to set up a few things. Anyway, please review and let me know what you thought! Your reviews are the only things that keep me going sometimes! Theories and speculation are encouraged! Thanks!**_


	8. Chapter 8

**_A/n: Sorry for the wait. Here's an extra long chapter with all kinds of good stuff in it! Aaron stuff, jate stuff, Conmama stuff…some weird Skate-ish stuff…lol Don't let that scare you Jaters, read on! I think you'll all enjoy it. :D Please tell me what you think!_**

** Chapter 8soo**

Kate sat alone at the table for a few minutes after Claire left, the silence of the large home almost relaxing and reassuring. It was an odd feeling for her, to enjoy the silence. Much of the time, Kate hated this stillness that surrounded her. It was something that she was all too familiar with at her own home. It reminded her that the house was always empty without Jack in it. It reminded her that her life seemed empty without his presence in it, lonely and solitary.

After living with him for some time after rescue, she had let herself get too used to him being around, to his comfort and love that he so readily gave. Even after his life started going downhill and his alcohol and drug habits increased, no matter how startling, she was still there with him. If something happened, she could have been there, but not now, not when all that surrounded her was this silence.

Today was different. Jack was a part of that silence, again. As much as she worried about him, she was there, and she could take care of him now. As much as it terrified her in new ways, her old fears were relieved for the time being, and so was that emptiness.

The night before, Kate had expected to come to house having to deal with a drunken and possibly beaten Jack, but instead she was greeted with the news that he was fine. When she had gone to check on him, a sense of dread about her as she wondered if he actually _were_ alright, she had again been comforted to find him well, sleeping peacefully in the guest bed. If only she could have slept that peacefully that night.

A noise that she couldn't distinguish coming from down the hall shook Kate out of her haze of thoughts. She took a deep breath, then glanced back, as if she expected to see someone behind her, but there was nothing. With a shake of her head, she stood up from the table, and quietly walked through the living room. Tiptoeing past Sawyer's sleeping form, curled up on the small sofa, she made her way down the hall and timidly opened the door to the room Jack was resting in, worried that he had woken up, not knowing where he was. To her relief, he had simply knocked a book off of the little end table next to his bed, his arm now lay half draped across it. Leaning against the doorframe, she smiled; Kate had always enjoyed watching him sleep, but now, knowing that he was safe for the time being, it felt even better.

After a few moments of watching him, she quietly closed the door and walked back through the house until she reached what she supposed was Claire and Sawyer's bedroom. Still not quite able to wrap her mind around the thought of them as a couple, she didn't linger long in the actual room, and briskly walked into the bathroom that was attached to it, shutting the door behind her.

Within moments, she had stripped herself of her clothes and neatly folded them back into a pile, setting them on the counter. If she were going to stay a few days here with Jack, she would need to make the trip home at least once, to get some clothes and make sure a neighbor would take care of Jamie. Kate turned on the water, adjusting the heat, before stepping into the shower and under the sharp needle spray of the warm water and pulling the curtain closed.

--

Claire made her way through the park at a leisurely pace, and to any passerby she would look like nothing but an early riser out for a morning stroll. At that moment, Claire couldn't feel farther from it. She often walked out here to clear her head, or simply get some fresh air, but this morning all she did was worry.

_I'm pregnant_. The fact nearly brought tears to her eyes, the overwhelming feeling nearly overpowering her will. Her thoughts turned to tearful whispers, as she continued to walk. _I can't take care of a baby now, with Jack in his condition. And Sawyer doesn't even __want__ a baby. We've talked about this, we can't. After Aaron got sick… _As soon as she let the words slip out, a fat tear rolled down her cheek. It'd been 2 years now, but any reminder of her son's death still brought her to tears to her eyes as soon as the thought hit. Her therapist had told her that she needed closure, that her child's death was so unexpected and sudden that she hadn't had time to prepare herself emotionally or mentally for the shock of it, but Claire knew better.

His death hadn't been as sudden as most people would think.

Aaron's perfect health had been declining since they were rescued. It was almost as if the island hadn't wanted him to leave. She knew this was an absurd thought, but she didn't know what else to think. At first the change had been subtle and slow. A fever here and there that troubled her, a prolonged cough, but nothing seriously worrying to any doctor she took him to … but around the time he turned one, his health problems grew worse. His mild colds turned into bad colds, which once turned into pneumonia. That had scared Claire the most. She had never been religious, but while her son was sick, she prayed day and night that he would be all right, and eventually, he d_id_ get better. That is, he was fine until 4 weeks before his second birthday, when he developed a new illness that doctors didn't recognize. A single mother with almost no family, Claire provided him with the best care that she could, but no one could help him. Rousseau's words about her child being 'sick' echoed in her ears in her sleep until the day he passed away.

It was at Aaron's funeral that she had met Sawyer.

Now, here she was again, pregnant with the child of a man who probably wanted nothing to do with it. She knew that he loved _her_, but whenever she talked about children with him, he closed up, even if he tried to hide the fact that it made him uncomfortable. Once, she had made the horrible mistake of musing about people who had children out in the world that they didn't even know about, and asking him if he ever wondered about it. He had immediately gotten defensive, which led to a big fight, and him sleeping in the guestroom for three days. Since then, the subject of children (aside from Aaron) was rarely brought up.

"Maybe _I_ should sleep in the guestroom for a few _months_." She mumbled to herself, realizing that this walk had not helped nearly as much as she had originally hoped.

--

When Sawyer woke up that morning, the first thing he realized was that he wasn't in his bed. The second thing he realized was that he hadn't spoken to Claire since early the evening before. A stab of guilt hit him hard as he replayed their little argument in his head. _Sawyer, you're a jackass._ He thought to himself, sitting up and looking at the floor, memorizing the patterns on their carpet. _She does everything for you, she means the damn __world__ ta you, and you gotta go and say something stupid like that!_ He scolded inwardly, shaking his head. _Worst thing is, ya knew it hurt her and that's why ya said it! Didn't even go back and say sorry._ He continued, feeling worse and worse as the seconds dragged by. _Well, what're ya waitin' for? _Sawyer struggled to motivate himself.

Apologizing never had been his strong suit.

Finally, he stood with a sigh and heading towards the bedroom. When he reached his destination, he found that the bed hadn't been made since she last slept in it. Surprised to find her up and about already, he headed towards their bathroom. He could see that the light was on, and he heard the shower running. Placing a hand on doorknob, he gently turned in, walking inside, and shutting the door behind him.

--

Kate stilled, her hands tangled in her soapy hair when she heard a slight creak. She could have sworn it was the bathroom door, but she had locked it, hadn't she? Kate couldn't remember. She had been eager to get into the shower and not have to think about her feelings for Jack or what to do next. She listened hard, before convincing herself that it had been her imagination. Who would it be anyway? Claire had left 20 minutes before, and wouldn't be home for at least an hour if not longer, Jack would be sleeping off his hang over for a while yet, and Sawyer had never been what you would describe as an 'early bird'. Continuing to massage the shampoo into her hair, she let out a quiet sigh, closing her eyes.

--

Sawyer stood quietly for a full minute, trying to decide what he was supposed to say, or how to even start to apologize for his behavior.

"Hey, uh…I don't mean ta barge in or nothin, but…I-I just wanted ta say that I'm sorry. 'Bout last night, I mean." He began awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck and staring at the tiles on the floor.

--

Kate froze again at the sound of Sawyer's southern drawl. Her first instinct was to tell him to get out, but instead, she remained calm and listened to his apology. She figured that he didn't want to have to apologize in front of Jack or Claire, it was nothing more than that. He sounded nervous enough alone with her.

--

"I shouldn't have even brought him into it. I'm sorry." He finished, waiting expectantly for any form of a response, but none came.

After another long pause, he got an idea, and with a slow grin he began to strip his pants off. If she wouldn't talk to him on her own, he'd make her say something, even if it was yelling at him to get out. He almost chuckled at the thought as his boxers came next. Taking the few small steps over to the shower, he grasped the curtain and began to pull it aside, when he was met with a sharp cry.

"Sawyer! What are you doing?" Kate shrieked, and for a split second he just stared, shocked, before taking a step back and letting go of the shower curtain with a surprised curse that resembled a delayed reaction. Kate simultaneously shoved him back and shut the curtain.

Sawyer, bewildered and unable to remove certain images from his head, looked at the floor as he pulled on his clothes and rushed out of the room.

--

Across the house, completely unaware of what had just happened, Jack woke up. Confused by his surrounding, he looked around and tried to stand, but when he did so, a shooting pain pulsed through his head. _How much did I drink last night?_ Flashed through his mind.

After sitting for a few seconds, Jack stood again, this time more carefully. He walked out of the room and glanced up and down the halls, still trying to piece together exactly what had gone on the day before, knowing that it had something to do with Claire and Sawyer, but nothing else. Suddenly, a strong feeling of nausea swept over him. Trying to control the sick feeling, he braced himself against the wall and searched for the nearest bathroom. Upon seeing it directly across from where he was standing, Jack moved as quickly as he could into it and knelt down in front of the toilet, knocking down a small trashcan on his way.

When he was finished, he shakily stood and rinsed his mouth out at the sink. As he did so, his memories began to come back. He had a vague memory of Kate lying next to him and telling him to go to sleep sometime the night before. He wondered if she had stayed the night. His heart almost broke at the thought that he had messed up again. That he had forced her to take care of him when it hurt her so badly to see him this way. With that final though, he shut off the water, and noticed the spilled trash bin. Slowly kneeling again, he started to clean it up, until he saw something that nearly made his heart stop.

A positive pregnancy test.

_**A/n: Mwahahaha! Cliffhangers! Ok, I better get a bunch of reviews for this chapter. I told you what happened to Aaron! You've all been waiting for so long, so PLEASE drop me a line. It's really hard for me to continue writing lately. sigh It had Jate/some Skate (that was kinda silly), and soon there should be some conmama. The Aaron thing will be spoken about in the future, but I thought I'd tell you part of the story at least, since I promised. :) **_

_**Next chapter: **_

_**Jack freaks out about the pregnancy test**_

_**Sawyer freaks out about seeing Kate naked**_

_**He and Kate decide whether they should tell anybody what happened**_

_**Claire comes home and tries to tell Sawyer some 'news' amidst all this chaos! **_

_**Should be fun. ;) Your reviews will help me update faster! Inspire me! I dare you! Hehe Fave lines/theories/speculation are sooo encouraged. :D**_


	9. Chapter 9

**_A/n: Sorry for the long wait everyone! I had school, then finals at school, then I had get ready for the summer session…ugh. Well, I'm back for few days. Enjoy! :D_**

_**Btw, to whoever Kat Diamond is, and anyone else this may apply to…please Skaters, don't flame. This has some Skate, but is primarily a Jate/Conmama fic, so feel free to read and enjoy the Skate involved, but you don't have to call my writing crap. Makes me want to stop and start all over with fanfiction. :(  
**_

**Chapter 9**

Kate looked at the smooth, white tiles of the bathroom floor as she dried her hair. She couldn't get the morning's prior happenings out of her mind. What had Sawyer been thinking, walking in on her like that? He had looked just as surprised as she was when he saw her, but he hadn't left until she had practically pushed him out of the shower. Had he thought she was Claire, or was there more to it than she knew?

She didn't want to think about it. In fact, she just wanted to forget that it had happened, and if she was lucky, maybe Sawyer would feel the same way. Things were already far too complicated for her and Sawyer's past relationship to be brought up all over again. They had both moved on, and they were both happy with it that way.

Still rubbing her dark hair with the damp towel, she walked out into Sawyer and Claire's bedroom, only to find Sawyer sitting on the bed, now fully dressed and looking embarrassed and ashamed. Disappointed that he had clearly been waiting for her, she took a few tentative steps forward then stopped, looking down as she removed the towel from her hair and held it in her hand.

"Hey…" She spoke finally, after a long moment of silence. She still refused to make eye contact, too embarrassed to look at him completely.

Sawyer looked up. "Hey…"

Kate took a deep breath. "Sawyer, I don't know what happened back there, but if you had any ideas about us-"

"No." He interrupted quickly, his sharp voice causing her to meet his eyes. "I-uh…I thought you were Claire. Didn't even know you were awake." He mumbled, his tone softening, revealing his full discomfort.

"Oh." Kate bit her lip and nodded, sighing inwardly. "So…what do we do now?"

"What do ya mean 'what do we do'? We don't do nothin." He shrugged, standing up.

Kate felt herself tense as she watched him stand, though she wasn't sure why. He'd already made it clear that he had no intention of pursuing her, but the whole situation had shaken her nerves. "Sawyer, we can't just pretend it didn't happened, Jack and Claire-"

"What about em?" He argued. "We didn't do nothin wrong. It was just-just an honest mistake." His face twisted with annoyance. "A guy tries to apologize and this is what he gets." He growled to himself.

Kate placed her hands on her hips. "So what? We just forget it happened? Don't talk about it?" She asked, the incredulity apparent in her voice.

"Why should we? Things are crazy enough, Freckles, you really wanna go tell the Good Doc that we saw each other naked just to make things interesting? Cuz trust me, they'll get interestin."

Kate rolled her eyes and looked away from his hard gaze. After a moment of consideration, she nodded. "Fine." She replied, looking into his eyes. "We don't say anything."

Sawyer let out a visible sigh of relief. "Okay." He nodded. "Well, good then." Sawyer moved towards the door of the bedroom door. "Glad we had this talk." He continued, glancing back at Kate with a slight smirk. He looked her up and down quickly, before smirking again. "Ya look good, Freckles…"

Sawyer reached for the knob and opened the door just in time to see Jack walking, somewhat shakily down the hall towards them. He stopped in his tracks and muttered a curse under his breath when Kate bumped into his back.

"What are you-"

"Kate?"

She froze for a split second at the sound of his voice, before walking out from behind Sawyer, suddenly feeling somewhat ashamed of herself. "Hey Jack. How are you feel-"

"What are you doing?" He asked, curious and looking slightly suspicious.

"Jack…it was noth-"

"Jeez, Doc. A man can't even use his own bedroom without bein accused of somethin?" Sawyer grumbled good-naturedly as he walked past them.

Once he was gone, Kate smiled reassuringly. "He was just getting dressed while I was in the bathroom, Jack." She looked at him hard. "Hey, you okay? You look a little pale. Maybe you should get back to bed."

"Yeah…yeah, maybe."

"Good." She smiled softly. She stared into his eyes for a few seconds, worry clouding hers, before she spoke again. "I need to go back home. Get some clothes, make sure Jenny or Carol can take care of Jamie. You want me to pick you up something?"

"What?"

"I still have the key to your apartment." She explained.

"No. No, I mean, why are you going?"

"Jack, I-_we_ think that you should stay here a few days. Both of us." She began slowly, not sure how he would react to this. Jack stiffened, having a feeling he knew what was coming, but let her continue. "You need to sober up, Jack." She told him gently, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I wanna stay with you. Someone has to make sure you and Sawyer don't kill each other." She teased lightly, then paused. "Come on. You need to get to bed. I'm gonna go talk to Sawyer."

Just as Jack had been feeling himself begin to relax, his heart plummeted again at the mention of _his_ name.

"Yeah. Okay." He said quietly, rubbing his forehead. "Wh-when are you comin back?"

"I'll be back in a few hours." She smiled. "Now come on. I mean it. Get back to bed." She told him firmly, still nervous being in his presence. She needed to get out of the house and clear her head.

--

"_I wanna stay with you."_

The sentence kept repeating over and over in Jack's head, her gentle words now haunting him. The day before, she said that they shouldn't see each other anymore, and now she wanted to stay with him? She wanted to make sure he was all right? She wanted to help him? _"Why? Why now?"_ He'd used up every chance he had and a few that he didn't. Kate had tried to be there for him, even when his addictions were killing them both. She had finally made her decision to stop this, and now she wanted to stay with him?

Jack rolled over on his side, the dim, empty bedroom fitting his mood exactly. Alone. Dark. Empty. He didn't know what to think or how to explain Kate's actions, except with one explanation – the positive pregnancy test he had found. What other answer could there be to her sudden change of attitude? The thought of being a father, especially in his condition, scared Jack to death, but at the same time, he felt hope. This could be a second chance. A new opportunity to prove himself, to keep Kate, to have a family. He wasn't getting any younger, and he was running out of time to change. Maybe _this_ was his chance.

As soon as his spirits lifted, ever so slightly as it may have been, they plunged downwards when a new thought struck him. Why had Kate come out of that bedroom with Sawyer so early in the morning? She had been walking close behind him. Had she been smiling? How had she looked? Jack couldn't remember the exact details. His memory was still a bit fuzzy, his headache hindering it even further. They couldn't be, Sawyer was with Claire. As much as Jack hated it, Kate being with Sawyer hurt him even more.

But Sawyer _had_ been acting strangely. He hadn't seen the man in years, but he definitely seemed more irritable than he had expected. He seemed almost angry with him. For what? For having feelings for Kate? For being with her? How long had this been going on?

"_Stop!"_

Jack forced himself to stop the thoughts that were quickly escalating into a full-blown panic. What was he thinking? He ran off after she 'broke up' with him, got drunk and high, then drove while under the influence. She had reason to worry about him, it was nothing else. Besides, this wasn't their house. Why would Kate take the test here where anyone could find it? It couldn't be Kate's. It must be –

Jack shot up in bed. "Sawyer!"

_**A/n: Ooh, next chapter is gonna be fun. Jack/Sawyer throwdown! Lol well, kinda. And some more Jateness and some cute Conmama. I start school again on Monday, so I'll try to get to it within a few days. Maybe you'll get 2 updates in 1 week! How cool would that be? So if I get some awesome amount of reviews (lol), I may just write it up tomorrow while I'm inspired and know exactly how it's gonna go down. Hehe I'd really appreciate knowing what you thought/your fave parts, and know that you guys still like this fic, even though I've been a little busy and uninspired. ;) Btw, thanks to Athena Alexandria for helping me brainstorm. ;) Love ya! (IANGW)**_


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